My Setu Heart

This is my good friend Setu.
Though I haven't seen him in who knows how long, tonight I owe him.

As I was thinking, trying to figure out why I can't make friends like I used to, my mind started wandering. Somehow I ended up thinking about a girl I know and how she gushed about hugging Avi from Pentatonix and he laughed or said something and it vibrated through her. It reminded me of Setu.

Setu has one of the most wonderful voices on earth. He's a rumbly, heart-breaking bass whose falsettos rival mine. No, his falsettos totally bite mine in the butt.
His personality is much the same. He's this huge intimidating Polynesian who is really just a sweet tender teddy bear.

I love Setu with all my heart.

I thought about that. Truth be told, I know hardly anything about Setu. And yet I do absolutely adore him and wouldn't hesitate to tell that to anyone.
This is true about many of those I consider my good friends. Or it used to be true.
Really, though I would say that it's true, I haven't thought about many people that way in a while, with love gushing out and me just being thrilled to know and be around them.
I realized: I've forgotten how to love people.

Somehow in the past couple years I've gotten tentative and critical -- of others, but even more so myself. And so, I've forgotten how to love. I've forgotten that it doesn't matter if I know them well and we have deep conversations or if they have faults or if they see my faults or if we don't perfectly match as kindred spirits. It doesn't matter. I can still find the tiniest things to absolutely adore about a person and add them all up until I grow a new heart just for them and I love them with all of it.

Once upon a time I had someone tell me that because I loved so many people, I couldn't love any of them very much because everyone has a limited amount of love to spread around. This frustrated me to no end. That's exactly the opposite of how love works! Christ, the ultimate example of love, loves more people than any of us will ever know, and He loves every one of us more than we can fathom. I believe we can love like Him, to a degree.

That's why I need to start growing hearts again. Lately I've been trying to cut up my heart so that I can give pieces to everyone I want to love. I can't love anyone enough that way. I need to take everything about them and grow a new heart of mine just for each person I want to love.

Then, it doesn't matter whether they or I have faults or whether we're perfectly lined up to be friends. I'll just love them with all my heart, and everything else will work out.