Junioritis

I was sick for a week (still getting over it) so I stopped caring about school.
Oh, except that I stopped caring about school about a month in. Ugh.

I was supposed to be all excited for school. I tried.
Fail.

Now I just hope that my grades sing a different tune.
Hope hope hope hope hooooooooope.

Okay, so I'm really not that scared about my grades. Perhaps that is just my lack of caring...but I'm pretty sure I'm okay. Blah.

School is silly. I feel like I'm learning a ton but I'm too worried about my grades to keep learning so I I just get apathetic until I remember the consequences of failure so I stress and still totally forget about learning anything... The school system should get an F, not me.
A whole GPA worth of Fs.

But there's always the pressure that I am worth nothing if I don't graduate.
Lalala everything is gonna be alright. Oh yeah.

Grateful a Day: Baking

Today I am grateful for my ability to bake. 

I may be too picky to experiment and cook real food, 

but I thoroughly enjoy making goodies. 

I especially love baking goodies for others, with reason.

Just sayin'

This is spurred because I went to a pumpkin patch today. I can write more about that later. The point is, I LOVE baking. I love baking cookies. I love baking bread. I love baking pretty much anything.
But, I'm not all that good at cooking. This comes three-fold:

• Growing up, my experience in the kitchen was pretty much tied to the goodies...by my own choice. So I don't have a lot of background with making real food. 
• I am good at following recipes. I don't understand the science of baking well enough to change things up.
• I am quite the picky eater. This means I don't like certain things in my food...which makes me want to change things up. 

So, though I can usually succeed in making dinner and stuff, I have no idea where to go to be better. If it were up to me, John and I would eat microwaved frozen burritos every night. Or maybe toast. But that's kind of disgusting, no matter what it is.
Real food is hard. It takes preparation, motivation, time. It also takes the ability to remember that food needs to be taken care of. That part is especially hard. Why do we have to eat so dang often? Every day? Really? Didn't I just make dinner?

At the same time, I still enjoy cooking real food. I'm just not as good as I want to be because I want variety.

Grateful A Day: Reading

A grateful a day keeps the grumpies away.
Or something like that.
In any case, I am posting one thing I'm grateful for on each day until Thanksgiving. I should probably do this all the time...I'll think about that later.

Today I am grateful for my ability to read

and my talent to read well.

This is spurred because I am struggling in Spanish. I realized today that it is very hard for me to stop and think about what I'm reading because I'm so used to simply already understanding it. This doesn't mean concepts, but actual words and structure. I have no memories of reading something and having to go slowly so that I could figure out what the words are and how they relate to each other. Now that I'm taking a Spanish class and have things to read, sure I can skip on through the words...but I have no idea what I just read, and not because my mind was somewhere else. I have to stop and evalutate each word individually and also in relation to those around it, or even the basic direction of the sentence gets lost. It's bizzare to me.

I have always attributed the majority of my intelligence to the fact that I can read well. (I attribute others' perception of my intelligence on the fact that I've never known how to keep my hand down in classes.) Some may dispute this, but I stand by it. I love reading, and I've learned a ton with my experiences in reading many different things.