Brin's Books

I like stealing things. My friend blogged a post about the first book she read this summer. I think she's going to put more, but maybe not. I don't know what her plans are. But either way, it gave me an idea.

Lately, and also throughout the years, I've wished I had a list of what books I've read, and how many times each. Unfortunately the library does not keep a record of what you've checked out once it's been returned and fines paid for. I've read way too many books to know by memory, plus my memory is less than stellar.

But why not start now?
Also, I've been very happy lately and being happy makes me extra talkative, and I like my blog because I can talk to it and it doesn't matter if people have to listen to me ramble.

And I just decided I will make a new blog just for my books.

Brin's Books

Enjoy! Or ignore, whichever you prefer.

Vcott's Venue

I love making people happy!

Especially when they make me laugh in the meantime.

Vcott's Venue

Day 28 - Don't Poke Me!

Day 28 - A picture of something you’re afraid of.

I am petrified of needles. The fact that the above picture (let alone the other pictures that came up in my search) and simply the word "needles' makes me squirm and get a little light headed should be testament enough of that. Ugh. So I will probably never give blood unless absolutely necessary. I've avoided for as long as possible getting shots that have been needed and promptly blocked out any memories of those I couldn't get out of. This last time, over a year ago, I decided that my fear, though common, is irrational and surely just a little *prick* is really not that bad. So I tried to brave it up. It is utterly disgusting how much that prick, the only one I have not successfully blocked out, haunts me...to the point where saying or typing "prick" in that context makes me want to puke. Luckily I am not so bad as some who faint when they get shots...but I've never fainted for anything so maybe that's just a different issue. If you try to talk about shots or needles or giving blood around me for more than a few seconds, I will leave, if possible, or close my eyes and start humming in the attempt to block you out. Don't take my tears and pale face personally, it's just not a reaction I'm good at controlling.

Day 27 - Silly Sisters

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

How about two?

These pictures are about 5 years old.
That summer the three of us had loads of fun and took advantage of being sisters. Then Teresa left to leave us for another sibling -- something about growing up and getting out -- and Celeste left me for a mission. This was the last day we had together and we made the most of it.

Aren't photo shoots so much fun? =D

Attraction

Just a quick girly post Just because I can

John took me to see the newest X-Men movie for my birthday. Hugh Jackman made his 30-second sexy appearance, and John squeezed my hand. That man is the only celebrity that consistently makes me need to wipe my chin. X-Men definitely doesn't help that at all. 

Hey, he's delicious!

John said he's glad I like Hugh Jackman. It makes me a normal human being.

He might have said something like 

it makes John better because if I'm so attractive to that sexy beast that makes John more of a sexy beast....

or maybe that comment was just in my head?

In any case, it's still normal to be attracted to other people when married, right?

For me, I'm usually not attracted to guys' appearances until I get to know them. 

I know every girl says that, 

but I'm telling the truth, I swear. 

I wasn't even physically attracted to John until AFTER I decided to like him.

In any case, after my first decision to like John 

and before our first date, I got really attracted to this one guy. 

The fact that he wouldn't stop staring at me probably didn't hurt that. 

Actually, it's the only reason I even noticed him at all.

But then I did notice him. Oh boy did I notice him. 

We talked, we flirted, I facebook stalked...

He was almost 10 years older than me.

But he was ridiculously attractive.

The problem?

I keep seeing his picture, and get a little dizzy. 

Perhaps it's because I made a conscious decision to stop that road cold-turkey because 

John is perfect for me, 

and my head still likes to lazily wonder where it could have gone.

Perhaps it's because I loved to flirt with him. 

Hey, he was like a male version of me in that way and it was addicting.

Perhaps it's because he's the only guy I've ever come across who I actually considered as "my type."

And perhaps it's just because he's ridiculously attractive.

In any case, it's a little annoying to have my heart race every time I scroll down facebook and his face flies by.

Just sayin'

Day 24 - Sweet Love

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.



It really is the only thing that there's just too little of!

Seriously, how much better would the world be if everyone loved a little more? Or a lot more? Everything would fall into place if everyone loved more. :)

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Day 23 - Happily Marry After

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

The second picture is the book that I actually read, but the first one conveys the book a little better. I never did understand the cover before. 

Picking a favorite book is hard for me. I love all books, almost. I love to read, anyhow. I used to devour books. I still do when they're good, but now I try to read more classics so it takes me a bit more to get through them. 

Pipit's Song hit a chord when I read it, so I loved it. I don't even know what chord that would be. My guess could be that I hunger for romance novels that continue on after the wedding. 90+% of chick flicks and romance novels just stop once the couple ends up together. Yeah, that's sweet, but why should we take their happily ever after as granted? 

Working through marriage is the hardest part of love, and the most rewarding. 

I know we shouldn't take media as examples of life, but we all know that we all do at least a little. I have lots of examples of marriages in my life, but I want more. What makes a happy marriage? Tell me how. Tell me why. This book does a little, and I love it.

Day 22 - Just Dance

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Dancing

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I kind of grew up thinking the girls who danced were bad. Kind of like the people who smoked, or watched R rated movies, or got tattoos. Basically, while growing up I formed my own idea of rules that my parents had for me without them ever actually telling me. Some were tied to being LDS, others not. But most were. 

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Dancing was one of my imaginary rules. As I grew up more, I realized what things were actual rules, and what weren't. Dancing clearly wasn't. It took me a while to really understand that, but once I started dancing, I knew there was no way it wasn't perfectly wonderful.

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Sadly, I didn't start dancing until I was a teenager. Ballroom dance first, then a little modern dance. If you want to be amazing at dancing, you have few options:

Start young

Be incredibly talented

or

Be ridiculously dedicated.

Probably all three.

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Ballroom dancing came easily to me, but I was nowhere near amazing at it.

I loved dancing.

The closest thing to it that I know is piano. I'm not amazing at that either, but when I have a piece that I've spent hours on and I have it memorized and I play it without thinking...I look down at my fingers and I'm amazed. I'm doing that. It's gorgeous, it's wonderful, it's a natural high. I love it.

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Dancing fascinates me. I love watching competitions.
But at the same time, it makes me want to cry.

I want to be doing that. 

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I'll continue to pursue it, but it's not realistic for me to spend the time I want to to get as good as I want to. So I'll have to be content watching. Which, for the most part, I am.

Day 21 - Overreacting

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

I've experienced pain in my life. I wouldn't say a lot, because let's be honest, I've had a freaking amazing life. And I'm not just saying that because there are people in Africa who really know pain, or anything like that. I really haven't had a bad life.
But, I have experienced pain. I've experienced searing, unbearable pain, too.
But I don't wish I could forget it.

I love trials.
I probably shouldn't say that too loudly, because as much as I love them, I am quite happy -- literally -- without them, so I don't necessarily want more.
But I feel like I've grasped the concept of why we're here. Life is all about learning, and we cannot learn without adversity.
So, to keep it short, I cherish my trials. (usually after they're over)

So, if I don't want to forget my trials, what do I want to forget?
Not much.

But there are a few things I think can qualify.

I don't consider them trials.
I consider them stupidity.

stupidity as a lifelong thing to overcome is a trial. momentary stupidity is just plain stupidity.

You have those moments you look back on, and you say, "What the heck was I thinking?"

And then you realize, oh yeah.

You weren't.

I have lots of those. Not as many as I'd expect. And I don't know if I really regret them. But some are fresh enough and painful enough that right now, yeah, I wish I could forget about it...at least until I can laugh about it. :)

The one that has been glaring at me lately is still fresh at 2 years old. 

Remember the "bulwark" guy? 

Well, he left on a mission. I went to his farewell.

Remember that girlfriend? Remember I'm fairly certain she despises my existence?

Well, she was there. No surprise. I wouldn't have minded, wouldn't have cared if she'd

stop

those

looks

I mean, seriously, what did I do to her? She is the one who stole him from me, and the only problem I have with her is that she hates me. Not even that, it's that she takes her hatred OUT on me. Leave me out of your own dang problems, lady!

           apologies for the high-school drama. it's a high school memory.

Ugh. Anyway, so I was a little unnerved at the party after. It was a super awkward day for me, I was flustered, I was dating John and needed him there but he hadn't understood that enough to be there, she was freezing the air, he was completely ignoring me, his family was ignoring the fact that we dated -- just the way they preferred it. I really wanted just to leave, but I couldn't do that. He was still my best friend despite his best efforts, and I wasn't going to see him again for 2 years...or ever. 

Needless to say, I wasn't at my best. 

The friends there played a game. I think it was Phase 10. Wouldn't you know, it came down to her and me. 

Where does life get these ideas?

What does he do? He helps her.

She wins.

Should I have reacted? Of course not.

...

Did I?

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You have to understand, I almost never lose my temper. Especially in public. 

Sure, I was in a high-stress atmosphere and she

                                                  pissed me off.

But, c'mon. 

The worst part? Why I wish I could forget it?

Everyone knew he and I had dated. Not everyone knew how much she hated me, and how much I hated the fact that she hated me and the way she hated me. So it probably just looked like a jealous ex-girlfriend overreacting. It had nothing to do with that. 

The very worst part? I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knew why I overreacted.

I hate that.

Day 20 - Cliche Tourist

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.

Duh. The same place everyone wants to go.

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 The funny thing is, I've seen streets so similar to these in Mexico. Maybe a tad more run-down and a little less happy, but cross your eyes and they're exactly the same. In any case, you feel like you're walking through a romantic blast from the past. The cobblestone streets, the towny crowding of the buildings, the homey feel in the middle of a great big really old city.

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So maybe the idea of traveling Europe makes me a silly run-of-the-mill romantic.

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Or somehow like every other tourist out there. 

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But I don't care. I still would love to go!

Day 19 - Little Me

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Oh I was so stinkin' cute :P

Day 18 - Crazy for feelin'

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Ooh, I have too many of those.

One of the things I fear most is being alone.
I think I've mentioned that once or twice before. :)

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Day 17 - Beautifully, Better

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.


I don't know if I'd call it huge. At least not on my life. But it made an impact on my feelings the other day.
And, ya know, sometimes it's those little things that really do make the biggest difference.

I was here

I was feeling lonely, a little bored, and rather adventurous. So I went for a drive. One thing I love about where we live is that I'm 5 minutes from Wal-mart, but the main road to our neighborhood is a Highway. But even more than that. The main road to my parent's house was Bangerter, but when I drove on that I didn't feel like I was out for a drive, I felt like I was going somewhere. Nowhere awesome, just somewhere to be.

On Cedar Fort Road, or just Hwy 73, it was beautiful.

Beautiful to have miles of road, and no one around.

Beautiful to feel the wind whipping through open windows.

Beautiful to hear nothing but silence.

Beautiful to taste the playful evening warmth.

Beautiful to smell an inviting summer. 

Beautiful to see the gorgeous meadows, hills, and skies. 

Beautiful.

And no, that isn't a poem. Mine or otherwise.

In any case, all that beauty made me feel better. 

I may or may not have shed a few dozen tears while in Walmart just before.

Silly me. 

Silly walmart, nowhere to hide.

But, again, in any case, I love life.

Utah is gorgeous, my life is gorgeous.

And I want to be a better friend.

                            a better aunt

                             a better sister

                              a better daughter

                               a better wife.

And that takes practice, and a lot of selflessness.

I'm not so good at the whole selflessness thing. It makes me nervous. How am I supposed to react when people praise me? 

Haha...I'm clearly not so good at humility either. 

Well, wait and see if I blow you all away

by the time I'm 80.

;)

Day 16 - Still Awesome After the Honeymoon

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

My brother Jarom is amazing, and his wife Michele makes him more amazing because she is amazing, and together they're just plain awesome. Like, awe-some. And awesome!

I've had a lot of examples of marriages in my life. Most of them are great, both as examples to learn from and as successful marriages in themselves. I don't like to pick favorites when it comes to family (the source of most marriage examples in my life) because I want to be sure everyone knows I love them...but Jarom and Michele really stand out and they deserve some recognition.

I've always thought they made a fantastic couple, and maybe the fact that they live far enough away that I don't get to see their faults plays a big part in my perception of them, but I think they're an ideal example of a wonderful marriage, family, and life.

Jarom is the well-behaved class clown, and Michele is creative and classy. They're both blessed with the happy, positive, loving personality that everyone loves to be around. They're always laughing, always adventurous, always making everyone around them feel loved and welcome.

Their five children are perfect, even if they aren't always perfectly well-behaved. I think it gives them character. The important thing is that they will grow up to be amazing people. Jarom and Michele have taught them well and taught them right, and most importantly they have loved them completely and unconditionally. So as their kids learn and grow and make the mistakes that are essential to the previous two, they will have the values and structure that their fantastic parents have provided them to fall back and lead them on.

As great as everything else they do is, the thing that inspires me most is the way they treat each other, even after nearly a decade of marriage.

The fact that they love each other is screamingly obvious. They are still as affectionate as I remember them being when I first met Michele. They're not afraid to stop, drop, and smooch, even when other people are in the room. Far from disgusting, it makes me thrillingly happy.

When John and I got to spend Christmas with them at their home in California, I loved watching the way they acted and interacted. Not a word nor whiff of criticism and negativity ever passed between them as far as I could tell. Support and strengthening is the attitude that keeps them going.

Jarom and Michele's marriage I'm sure isn't perfect and has plenty of room to grow...but whatever faults make that true are far from where I can see them. Not only does it make me happy to see my brother so happy, it encourages me that a happy marriage like the one I envision IS possible, even after the so-called honeymoon stage is long forgotten.