I AM a Utah Resident, Thank You!

Once upon a time there was a girl.

She was a basic, boring, run-of-the-mill, white-trash, Utah Molly Mormon.

[Okay, so maybe she just lived in white-trash West Valley]

She grew up in Utah her entire life. Her parents had both grown up in Utah, as had her parents' parents, and so forth. She had never left the state for more than a day until she was 12. She had never even left the country at all until she was 19. 

Then one day she decided to stop being uninteresting, and went to live in Mexico for four months.

Except it really wasn't that interesting. She just got married and her husband toted her around while he did cool things like a study abroad in a foreign Ivy League-equivalent University. 

Then life settled down a bit and she decided that she should go back to school now that she wasn't moving every couple months. 

When applying to go to a cute little college called SLCC, she was asked if she had lived anywhere other than Utah anytime in the last 12 months. Well, she considered herself living elsewhere, but that is entirely subjective and they certainly didn't give her enough information to tell her which was technically right. But, thinking that either way it shouldn't be a problem because she was, of course, a Utah Resident, she decided to give the benefit of the doubt and click "yes."

"Thanks for submitting all the information about you in the world. We've decided that you are humble enough to get into our prestigious poor starter college. Congratulations! Oh, and by the way, you're not a Utah Resident so you have to pay 1,000,000 times what everyone else pays."

Bah Humbug. 

If she's not a Utah Resident, then pray tell, what is she a Resident of????

The state of Utah considers her a Resident, as they had no problem updating her Drivers' License. Why does the school not consider her a Resident?

Because of one simple drop down menu that could be considered a mistake, but was certainly taken simply on the girl's word. 

So, what does she have to do? She has to spend way too much time trying to figure out how to fix it, and then even more time actually trying to fix it. Then, when she gets all her papers in and everything to prove that she is, indeed, a Utah Resident, what do they ask for?

Proof that she was gone at all.

Excuse me??!?? If you can't prove that I'm gone, WHY DO I HAVE TO PROVE THAT IT DOESN'T COUNT!?!

The best part? 

There ISN'T any proof that she was gone.

The ONLY proof that she was in Mexico for any amount of time, let alone for four months, is either total personal correspondence (which could all be complete bull for all they care), or a tourist visa.

A TOURIST visa, people! A tourist visa proves that she was a TOURIST, not a RESIDENT!!!

Also, because of complications with idiotic, stupid, ridiculous, conniving, thieving, corrupted Mexicans (not that all Mexicans are that, but the ones encountered for this purpose definitely were), the tourist visa wasn't even legitimate or legal. 

AND if we had driven back into the US instead of flown, neither the Mexican nor the US government would have any idea or record that she was ever in Mexico at all. Possibly they still don't. That last guy was probably all of those adjectives as well.

Oh, and another great part:

What if she lived in a different state, instead of a different country?

There literally would be absolutely NO hard proof that she was gone. Ever.

Grumble.

Luckily, she is now considered a Utah Resident by all parties.

Thank you.