Help but Hinder or Allow Learning and Risk Problems?

A brother and his girlfriend had a baby. He's almost 6 months old now and he's the cutest little stud the family could ask for. He's happy as can be and real funny. But he's a little behind in his development, mostly due to his parents being less than the most responsible parents around. Just having a baby out of wedlock most definitely does not make you a horrible parent, though it certainly rarely helps matters. But being involved in too many drugs too often and being a less than responsible person all around does certainly hinder parental abilities. The poor kid is daily, even hourly, transferred from one caretaker to another, constantly fought over who's not going to take him, and too many times used to manipulate. He is most often left in his carseat, ignored when crying, sitting in a way--too-old diaper, and in a house without enough food for him. Though his parents do care for him, are mostly kind to him, and did want to keep him, they are simply not prepared to be parents. What do you do for a child like that?

MIL says John and I are the perfect candidates to take him. Young married couple just about to start their reliable, sturdy life. Ummmm....sorry Ma. I'm not taking those birth control pills because they taste yummy. We have every intention and have earned every right to decide on our own when we start our family. Even then, if that were the only thing, of course I'd take in a nephew so in need of help. But do you really think his uncle and aunt are going to be the best place for him? That's just begging his parents to intrude on our space and therefore his, and probably cause unknown amounts of mental issues for him -- and probably for us. There's a reason foster care leading to adoption works. Yeah, it's sad for us because then we lose the kid for the next 18 years. But with the right family he'd have SUCH a better life than somewhere his parents can easily track down and try to take him over. We aren't taking responsibility for a child we can't protect. 

He spends a lot of time being babysat at Auntie's house, but she's going crazy with all the drama the parents cause. 

Daddy was doing so great 2 months ago. Stopped drinking, thought about stopping the cigarettes, stopped all other drugs and made an attempt to move forward the fantastic business Grandpa set up for him. A few ugly threats from Momma and that went down the drain :(

Grandpa thought to help force Daddy into responsibility by stopping the flow of money for baby essentials. But Grandma says it's not Baby's fault he was born.

Today I was forced with a similar, though smaller scale, dilemma. 

Baby's crying. Daddy I know is watching him and doing his best, but probably needs some help. Find out doing his best means propping the bottle up on pillows while he's playing video games. Honey, that just doesn't do. But he doesn't take well to advice so I don't even try. But should I take and feed Baby? Daddy will be relieved and go back to his video games, and Baby will get his needs met. But, though propping the bottle is far from ideal, Baby is okay right now. He's fussing which means he'll continue to get Daddy's attempts at taking care of him, which Daddy needs a lot of practice with. 

So what do you do? Daddy does try, even though he really has no idea what he's doing and has a minuscule sense of responsibility. It's not to the point of needing Child Protective Services yet, though it has most definitely crossed several peoples' minds. The kid needs more than he's getting.