Procrationalize

Deciding that our school system is counter-productive to true education was a very bad move for me.
I already know how to successfully and happily procrastinate. I really did not need to perfect the art of rationalization to go along with it.
Deciding that as long as I don't fail my classes (meaning I'd have to pay the government back lots of moolah) and as long as I felt I learned something, my grades don't matter to me...that was a very bad move.

So here I sit, lovingly working on homework, then I realize I completely forgot about a huge part of the portfolio due tomorrow.

And I don't care.

But I should.

But I don't.

Also, I hope that getting into the English program will give me a little ego popping. Yes, I said I hope my ego pops. But hey, I'd like to see you not have a fat head when every time you turn in your first draft written at 10pm the night before it was due you get an shining bright A.
Yes. Every time.
I think the last time I got anything less than glowing remarks on something like that was in High School.
My first year in High School.

(that teacher and I didn't get along)

It's ridiculous. When I can pull off an A with my eyes closed and without really caring much about the assignment, and with avoiding every possible bit of work...

Yep. I am way too full of myself.

So, once again, I am hoping that being an English major in English major classes will change that. Then I can be on the same plane as people who also get A's without trying. Because that means I'll actually have to try.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Or maybe it will just make the perfectionist in me go on overload and I will explode.

That would also be nice, I think. 

Pictures

I love taking pictures. I always have. I once thought about being a photographer, but then I couldn't fit the class into my schedule so I forgot about it, then I looked at real photographers' pictures and I realized I had absolutely no talent.

Then I married John.


This is Angelo:

He's John's step-dad. He is brilliant.

He may not be the best photographer, and he certainly doesn't get paid for it (though that's more personal choice than anything else), but he knows cameras and he knows sights. He's funny because he takes pictures most people won't think of, and some people don't like. He's a candid, behind-the scenes kind of guy:

This is actually one of my favorites from the wedding

He's given a camera to pretty much everyone in the family.
Let me rephrase that.
He has willingly permanently loaned all of his personal favorite cameras to everyone who has asked him for a camera to borrow for just a short while.
(we'll ignore the fact that he likely does this just so he can buy the newest best thing)


I, as it turns out, am no exception.
First, I sent out weekly family letters. Eventually pictures got mixed in. Eventually Angelo told me about some that he adored:

The food he liked because he loves taking pictures of food and Carol doesn't get it. I take waaay too many pictures of our meals. I tried stopping unless I had a real reason to want a picture. I've gotten better. Usually.

But Alma with his Jenga house? Sure it's a nice enough picture but there's nothing special about it. But both Angelo and my own hubby told me it was a great picture and that they love it. Hm.

Angelo told me I have a great eye. Well, ever since John got me a camera to document our life with I've worked on getting shots I like better, but I didn't know what a good eye meant. I still don't.

I was working for Angelo, selling camera stuff on eBay, and my family had our Reunion, so I borrowed the "work camera" for the week. He told me I could/should whenever I wanted to, but it's his expensive piece of equipment so I didn't want to cart it around all the time...but the family reunion was worth it.

And I came up with this:

These are pictures I can't get enough of. Especially the one with Ella and Michael on the frogs at the pool. That may be my favorite picture that I've ever taken. This last one with Ella on the lawn, too.

After the reunion I prepared to give Angelo back his prized possession. Except by then he'd bought a new and better prized possession and decided that I should keep this camera as long as I took lots of family photos.
I have taken lots of family photos.

However, I want to share more of my favorite pictures as my favorite pictures. I snap shots primarily to document my life, so I share shots to show that documentation. On occasion I'll share an obviously blurry picture because I love the moment it captured, even if my capturing of it wasn't excellent. So on occasion I'd like to share pictures because of the capturing as well as the moment.

Now, I have to warn you that I adore my nieces and nephews. So on occasion my obsession with them might cloud my view of what I really like about the photograph. Also, I may like something others may not see. But that's why this is my blog and I get to do what I want. :)

How to Bake a Pumpkin

 Start with a pumpkin. (If you want to)

Then give a crazy man a big knife.

Then tell him to be good or else.

Slice the cute little pumpkin in two.

Scrape out all the guts and seeds and give them to Brin so she can make amazing bread.

 Water them pumpkin so it can grow.

Bake the little bums.

Smooch the crazy guy (VITAL step!)

Dance with a puppy. (also vital)

Get pumpkin goo all over your fingers.

More, private! MORE! I said ALL over your fingers!

And then promptly forget all about taking pictures because your hands got gooey.


=D

Um, if you really want to know, google it. That's what I did.

Michele's Letters

My sister-in-law Michele writes the family every week. I love love love her letters/emails. John's and my letters started in Mexico because his Dad requested them (he wanted us to write every day, actually. Hahahahahahaha), but when we got back I started them up again largely because of Michele's letters. Her style and my style are different, which in part saddens me because I want to write letters like her but it wouldn't be natural, but it works out in the end because they really should sound like me since they're about my (and John's) life. 

Michele's letters are loving, nostalgic, and funny and they show that she is everything a good mother should be. I mean a real good mother, not a modern mother who crafts every thing in sight and takes her kids to every possible extra-curricular. Not that doing that makes you a bad mother, just that doing that doesn't make you a good mother. 

Anyway, Michele's weekly letters boost my spirits and just make me happy.
Her pictures also make me happy. This one I couldn't get enough of, especially if you know Katherine.

Junioritis

I was sick for a week (still getting over it) so I stopped caring about school.
Oh, except that I stopped caring about school about a month in. Ugh.

I was supposed to be all excited for school. I tried.
Fail.

Now I just hope that my grades sing a different tune.
Hope hope hope hope hooooooooope.

Okay, so I'm really not that scared about my grades. Perhaps that is just my lack of caring...but I'm pretty sure I'm okay. Blah.

School is silly. I feel like I'm learning a ton but I'm too worried about my grades to keep learning so I I just get apathetic until I remember the consequences of failure so I stress and still totally forget about learning anything... The school system should get an F, not me.
A whole GPA worth of Fs.

But there's always the pressure that I am worth nothing if I don't graduate.
Lalala everything is gonna be alright. Oh yeah.

Grateful a Day: Baking

Today I am grateful for my ability to bake. 

I may be too picky to experiment and cook real food, 

but I thoroughly enjoy making goodies. 

I especially love baking goodies for others, with reason.

Just sayin'

This is spurred because I went to a pumpkin patch today. I can write more about that later. The point is, I LOVE baking. I love baking cookies. I love baking bread. I love baking pretty much anything.
But, I'm not all that good at cooking. This comes three-fold:

• Growing up, my experience in the kitchen was pretty much tied to the goodies...by my own choice. So I don't have a lot of background with making real food. 
• I am good at following recipes. I don't understand the science of baking well enough to change things up.
• I am quite the picky eater. This means I don't like certain things in my food...which makes me want to change things up. 

So, though I can usually succeed in making dinner and stuff, I have no idea where to go to be better. If it were up to me, John and I would eat microwaved frozen burritos every night. Or maybe toast. But that's kind of disgusting, no matter what it is.
Real food is hard. It takes preparation, motivation, time. It also takes the ability to remember that food needs to be taken care of. That part is especially hard. Why do we have to eat so dang often? Every day? Really? Didn't I just make dinner?

At the same time, I still enjoy cooking real food. I'm just not as good as I want to be because I want variety.

Grateful A Day: Reading

A grateful a day keeps the grumpies away.
Or something like that.
In any case, I am posting one thing I'm grateful for on each day until Thanksgiving. I should probably do this all the time...I'll think about that later.

Today I am grateful for my ability to read

and my talent to read well.

This is spurred because I am struggling in Spanish. I realized today that it is very hard for me to stop and think about what I'm reading because I'm so used to simply already understanding it. This doesn't mean concepts, but actual words and structure. I have no memories of reading something and having to go slowly so that I could figure out what the words are and how they relate to each other. Now that I'm taking a Spanish class and have things to read, sure I can skip on through the words...but I have no idea what I just read, and not because my mind was somewhere else. I have to stop and evalutate each word individually and also in relation to those around it, or even the basic direction of the sentence gets lost. It's bizzare to me.

I have always attributed the majority of my intelligence to the fact that I can read well. (I attribute others' perception of my intelligence on the fact that I've never known how to keep my hand down in classes.) Some may dispute this, but I stand by it. I love reading, and I've learned a ton with my experiences in reading many different things.