Day 9 - Mutual-Attraction Bulwark

Day 9 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Hmm, this one is tricky because I'm fairly certain this person thinks I'm a crazy creepy stalker ex-girlfriend who can't get over the past. At least, if he doesn't think so, his current girlfriend loathes the thought of my existence enough to scare him out of acknowledging my said existence. I won't go into why the first supposed belief isn't true, or why I can almost, but really don't at all, understand why the situation is thus. It'll just make me angry at people who have no right nor reason to hate me, but do. :)

In any case, I once had a best friend, who was a guy, with whom there was a mutual attraction, so he became my boyfriend whilst becoming my best friend. I thought he was amazing and I trusted him with everything.

Before he came along I was happy as a bee, but I hadn't quite figured out life. Figuring out life is a life-long quest, but there's usually a point in the growing years of a person that they figure out life enough that they feel like they can continue the quest for figuring out life. That's what happened to me while I was dating Mikey.

I learned what self confidence was. I learned what I wanted to do with my life. I learned that I really can do anything I want to. I learned who my Savior was and that I wanted to include Him in my life. I learned that life is hard. I learned that I can do hard things. I learned that marriage would be absolutely nothing like I could ever expect until I got there. I learned how to be a better friend. I learned what a real friend is. I learned what I still needed to change in myself. I learned that I will never be perfect until long after I die. I learned the feeling of love. I learned the feeling of loss. I learned the feeling of passion for life. I learned how to keep going when that passion seared with pain.

And I'm fairly convinced that I wouldn't have learned half of all that if I hadn't had Mikey. He was my bulwark, my stairs, and my sea of answers.

Until there was a big bomb and we exploded far enough apart that we couldn't ever be friends again, except we were because I knew what I wanted and I wanted my best friend as my best friend, until I realized exactly how much he had been lying and let him finally do the denial of my existence he apparently so desperately needed.

Relationships suck, especially when you let one side overcome the other. But if you can walk away and be a better person from all of it, it was worth it.

Mikey was worth it.